Sunday, April 1, 2012

Vote for the Canadian Music Party


HBL (Hamilton Blues Lovers) Inc doesn’t usually get involved in politics but we’ve decided to help spread the good word about the newly formed Canadian Music Party. A few local musicians were tired of the current political climate and decided to take matters into their own hands.

Our very own blogger, Lou, was put in charge of propaganda. “We think it’s about time musicians had a say in how this country is run,” he explained.

“At our last meeting, we chose singer/songwriter/artist Tom Wilson as our leader and hopefully, the next Prime Minister,” Lou added, “There were many worthy candidates. In the end, it was hard to ignore Mr. Wilson’s passion and commitment (not to mention his height) when the final tally was counted.”

Mr. Wilson and the party have already outlined the main points of their future election campaign:
  • Immediate decriminalization of marijuana
  • All government business will only start after 2 pm.
  • Groupies can now be listed as dependents on income tax
  • Instruments can now be listed as dependents on income tax
  • Requesting “Mustang Sally” or “Freebird” is punishable by life in prison
  • Stealing musical instruments will be punishable by death
  • Musicians to get LCBO tax discounts
  • Hamilton will become the Canadian capital
  • "Oh Canada" to be replaced by "Oh What a Feeling" as the national anthem
  • The Queen will be replaced by King Biscuit Boy on all money
  • Frankie Venom will be put on the $50 bill.
  • Jackie Washington will now be on the $100 bill
Even though the next election is still far away, the party have already started hiring for various positions:
With this many musicians in one place, Lou says they were going to advertise a groupie wrangler position but luckily, local music fan and videographer Jill Johnson graciously accepted the job as an unpaid volunteer. “We’d like to thank Jill for her selfless act and for saving us some money. I’m sure she’ll take real good care of those groupies!”

So please remember to vote for your local CMP candidate when the next election rolls around. We need to put some more groove into Canadian parliament.

If you’d like to volunteer, please contact our volunteer coordinator, Ms. Luigi at 905-555-5555. For all other information, please call our secretary April Fulcilli at the same number.

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